I may have mentioned this before, but I am a huge fan of Godzilla. When the newest iteration of Godzilla came out in 2014, I was excited. It was a good movie despite it was a waste of a good actor like Bryan Cranston who died early in the movie, and I am sure they only brought in an excellent actor like Ken Watanabe to have a Japanese man say Godzilla because Watanabe was way under used and his talent frittered away. That said, it was still an enjoyable flick about a boy and his monster. It played heavily on the 2011 Fukushima disaster , which brings Godzilla back to his roots - fear of atomic power: that was a nice throw back.
So needless to say I was excited to see the sequel come out, Godzilla, King of the Monsters. I was still enthused despite lackluster reviews (and that is being generous). This movie was a mess. And not an enjoyable mess.
It was dark, hard to see the monsters at all because everything was blurry and dark and foggy all at the same time. I had trouble telling Rodan from Mothra. I wear glasses, and I had to take my glasses off several times during the movie to assure they weren't smeared with grease. And my god, how many times can a movie have a bright flash of light that people have to look away from? Hmmmm?
The plot of the movie, and I am not asking much here for a movie about giant monsters, but sheesh, at least try, was incomprehensible and muddled. It was like the makers of the movie said, "Hey lets make a monster movie and throw in every conceivable monster possible (but not use them), and that girl, Millie Bobby Brown, from Stranger Things because she is the actor to have right now, a few other actors - hey that guy, Kyle Chandler, from from that World War II TV show Homefront because he can look charming and confused all at once, and call it a movie. But hey, lets also throw in some eco-terrorists with no real agenda, but Tywin Lannister, uh, I mean Charles Dance, everybody!, and at some point the military will need to step in to stop the mega corp, and lets throw in a bunch of cliches like the military's answer to everything is to kill it all!! (which hint, NEVER WORKS no matter how many times they nuke a major metropolis). "
This movie was a massive waste of time. BEWARE SPOILER AHEAD.....Half way through the movie Ken Watanabe's character sacrifices himself, and I am sure somewhere during production there was a discussion about a heroic sacrifice and Ken Watanabe was like, let it be me so I can get out of this dud of a movie! Although it did give for a touching scene with him and Godzilla (a boy and his monster, people). /SPOILER
I think Tywin Lannister, uh, Charles Dance only showed up in the movie so he could get himself a 3 headed dragon to take back to Westeros and kick Daenarys butt with it. Also, like Game of Thrones, I was again cheering for SOMEONE to shoot Tywin in the gut with a crossbow. No shade to Charles Dance who is an amazing actor - my point is that he, like Watanabe, was wasted on this plot-less mess, and really did nothing but stand around looking menacing.
And last, one would think that a movie titled, "Godzilla ,King of the Monsters" there would be more Godzilla, but nope. Godzilla barely makes a showing in this movie. His heartbeat has more screen time than the actual monster.
I don't know if you can tell or not, but I was not a fan of this movie. Wait until it shows up on TV to watch it, preferably with a man and his bots and evil scientists forcing them to watch. Maybe the Mads can fit it in the next season of MST3K.
- The One With the Hump